Erin's Five Middle School Don'ts

So today was sort of a couch potato day for me; I sat on the couch, glued to the TV, completely enamored with the many Glee episodes I watched.  Even right now, I am addicted to another episode, to my own shame.  So I decided today I was going to write a Middle School Guide created by yours truly.  So here it goes…

These are a list of five things not to do inside a middle school environment:

1)  Never, ever, show up to school with a rolling backpack.  You will be eaten alive like the last piece of toast on Christmas morning if you show up with a backpack anything other than the one on your back or the fashionable tote (yeah, I know what you’re thinking; the tote sounds extremely uncomfortable with honors classes.  Congratulations!  You’re right!).

2)  Don’t show up to school holding a Hello Kitty lunchbox.  Lunchboxes in general are not the coolest popsicles in the freezer, however a low key lunch tote can be looked over.  But a Hello Kitty, Spongebob Squarepants, Dora the Explorer, and many others you can use your judgment on, will not be tolerated.  Brown paper bags are the ideal lunch carrier.  So what if they kill the environment?  As long as you’re at the top of the heap in the middle school pyramid, then who cares what happens to our now-lovely earth.

3)  Say no to the Shape Ups.  These shoes are meant to stay at home.  They never, ever, ever leave the house under any circumstances whatsoever.  A social death.  That’s what you would die if you wore Shape Ups to school.  Wear them at home and you’re fine.  But those shoes never cross the gate to the school.  That’s final.

4)  Floods.  Wear a cardboard pair of pants instead of too short jeans.  If you’re ankle is showing in the tiniest bit, then you’re in some serious trouble.  Just cut your old ones into a pair of shorts, and you’ll be fine.  Floods are meant to stop cars from travelling due to a dam breaking or a crazy storm.  Floods are certainly not to be located on your ankles.  Plain and simple.

5)  My last Don’t for today is that you must not ever wear your P.E. uniform for your yearbook picture.  That’s a huge no-no.  Some people actually show up to the annual pictures dressed in the lovely grey exercise chic (total sarcasm here), while others show up in shirts that aren’t dress code, resulting in them wearing their uniform for their picture.  Just wear something appropriate and something cute and you’ll be fine.  Just do it.

If you want to survive middle school, follow Erin’s Five Middle School Don’ts.  I know what I’m talking about here, so just listen and you’ll be fine J.  I hope today you learned something helpful, and you survive middle school (unless you already have).  You can trust me, I know what I’m doing, and I surely am at the top of the pyramid!  (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)